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1. |
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I feel crazy
I feel crazy
I feel sleepy
I feel crazy I can’t I mean why man
I need some help
I need some help
Are you scared?
Where I go?
Where I go?
I need some help
I need some help
Ttrabul
Bring me home
No more drama
Normal drama
No more drama
No more trauma
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2. |
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Are you scared?
If you’re scared then say that you’re scared
Smoke like a ghost
Laugh till I choke, look like a ghost
Dagger & Cloak, look like a ghost
Stabbed in my throat slow
Murder they wrote, look like a ghost
Stuck in a joke, look like a ghost
Bottle a note
Bottle a boat
Coast to coast
Shore to shore
Show to show
Ocean my home
Osun my
Blood on the globe
Blood round the globe
Ancestors know
Ancestors don’t
My Mama know
My Mama don’t
My Mama know
My Mama don’t
They ain’t know
They don’t know
They ain’t know
They don’t know
Feel in my bones
Licking my teeth
Double down jinx
Sink in my seat
Need me Visine
Eyes got a leak
Lungs in my feet
I cannot breath
Ribs out to eat
Thinkin bout beef
Lower esteem
All on my knees
Praying for weeks
But he never speak
So Crater my Speak
Crater my Speak
Cradle my, cradle my
Tongue in my wounds
Hop out the womb
Crying for you
Leaving too soon
Waiting for tomb
Stay in cocoon
Stay in my room
Haunted by news
Haunted by noose
Trauma on call
This ain’t my fault
Like L.A. on faults
Utopia broke Buck
Minister dome
Everything chrome
Everything, everything
Sunny side up
Look like a yolk
Fried all my
Free all my
I hear no drums
I got the jones
Look like a ghost
Damned where I go?
Look like a ghost
Look like a ghost
Ain’t nowhere for me to run…
Are you scared?
Are you scared again...
Are you scared... again...
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3. |
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Scared
Why ya?
Memories is medicine
But Past make me reticent
I really need me Ritalin
or better yet some mescaline
If you’re scared then say that you’re scared
Cause future’s always tentative
And present’s always relative
Like birthdays with my
Missing presences was felt, scared
They say these the cards dealt, scared
But life ain’t a game
And I show ain’t a spade
And I show ain’t a slave
And we show ain’t the same
But I wonder?
What makes a card different besides the number?
Or between a Club and a Clover
Looking four luck in them L.A. summers
I remember my Ma in Dumb and Dumber
I remember near death in a Rover
I remember when she got sober
Then copped the same one in October
Same color, same color
Can’t smile at the past when I see it
Mistake my past as seen it
Cause what was ain’t what it really seem
Maybe pain is what I really mean
Or maybe gas what I really need
Too bad it turned me to a fiend
For weeks, dazed
With my Momma on oC-enia
I don’t know, no
Where to go, go
Protect my soul
Before I’m ghost
I’m gone, I’m gone
I was lost but I’m found, I think?
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4. |
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To see Black
Not that all you Stars have fallen
But they have since reappeared
Only slightly dimmer
Remember, world
DON’T SET IT JUST GO AWAY, OH
SUN DON’T SET IT JUST GO AWAY, OH
SUN DON’T SET IT JUST GO AWAY, OH
SUN DON’T SET IT JUST GO AWAY, OH
SUN DON’T SET IT JUST GO AWAY
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5. |
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Numb
I was on the roof and
Contemplating truth and
Saw my self running
But now I ain’t running
Came a long way, away
Remember them days
You could still see it in we face
Blues blood like them waves
Come out to show them
Looking for a old place new space
Behind the moon and the stars
But not another planet just balance
But we stuck
You love my pain
Whole life bad luck cause
They ain’t trust us
Ain’t the type to know real just us or without us
Make a new dance bout us then drown
Make the pain go away brain go away
Celebrate sorrow
Till I can’t tomorrow
It’s just time borrowed
It’s just time borrowed
Imagine light without darkness
Or the mind without solace
This what mama promised
This what mama promised?
This ain’t what they taught us
I saw myself, saw my
I was on the roof and
Contemplating truth and
Saw myself running
But now I ain’t running
I’m back where I begun
Nowhere to run
After freedom
Now my feets stay numb
But I’m gone
I’m gone
I’m gone
I’m g–
Like a hole, Like a ghost
Like coals, Like smoke
My soul, no shell
Like shoals, no roads
Where I go?
Where I go?
They know, they know
I’m alone, ain’t alone
I’m home
I was on the roof and
Contemplating truth and
I, Saw myself running
But now I ain’t running
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6. |
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I feel
Really
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7. |
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Stars and Stripes
Smiles and Mikes
Blind by lights
Turns all things yt
Found sculptures
Lost Cultures
Erasure
Horticulture
But don’t
Paint it black
There is no Past
Love our lack
Now just see Black
Stars and Stripes
Smiles and Mikes
Blind by lights
Turns all things yt
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8. |
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No matter how hard you try you can’t stop me now
No matter how hard you try you can’t stop me now
Stop me now
No matter how hard you try you can’t stop me now
They bled, they bled, they bled
No matter how hard you try you can’t stop me now
Stop me now
In flesh
No matter how hard you try
Nothing seemed to work
World still turn
And I tried and I tried and
But my World still burn
My World
I seen
I lost it all
By myself
In skin
In flesh
In bones
Ash to dust
Coal to touch
Fire to drugs
Skin to sun
Iron to rust
Power to trust
Atlas shrugged
World’s eclipsed
Saturn scoffed
Jupiter adrift
Red eye to L.A.
Causer of fate
Like Figure 8s
Like a hurricane
Or water to rain
Cycles to blame
Perpetuate pain
Watch it rotate
Past leave a stain
In a carbon trace
Till west erased
Shavings on page
Shapes engraved
Drawing a phantom
Spiritually paid
Fly through the Hood
David display
Specters of place
Run Samothrace
Haunted by days
As the sun go away
Darkness my face
Body of clay
Mountains like shoulders
Rivers like veins
Sisyphus boulder
High when I’m stoned
Low when I’m sober
As I get older
I try and resist
But it persist
Absurd as it is
Hand in a fist in the sky
False sense of pride
In my skin
In my flesh
In my bones
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9. |
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I know you know
I’ll be at your wake in the waves
When you dead
When you dead
When you dead
When you de-ad
Fallling
Slow
Slow
Slow
Standing here
I know you know
They’ll be at your wake on the web
When you dead
When you dead
When you dead
When you de-ad
Falling
Slow
Slow
Slow
Till you dead weight
Till you dead wait
Throw you in the water
Slow, slow
Turn your life to a martyr
Standing, staring at
Red and blue lights
Blood purple skies
In the waves in the wake
Learn to swim learn to sink
Falling
Scream out, reach out
To be held, to be hurt
Wind cries turn to rain
Are you scared?
Are you scared?
Are you scared?
Darkness in my smile
Shadows in my speech
Thunder in my tongue
Lighting in my teeth
I know you know
I know you know
I know you know
I know you know
I know you know
I know you know
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My fear, my loneliness, my happiness. My blackness, my queerness, my objectness.
My subjectness. I am haunted by likenesses. I’m haunted by my a self. _ _ _ _ like a _ _ _ _ _. Smile, Simile. Messages, Massages.
(Crater Speak) is the title of a catalogue I published with Midway Contemporary Art. It is an unreliable guide of materials that influence my artistic and musical practice. There are several associative chapters that dance, outlining a perimeter. The steps draw the rim of a crater.
An old absence present. Here by unimaginable heat, scale, speed, and violence. Collision to disintegration to... (see The Thing, 1982).
“The rings of Saturn consist of ice crystals and probably meteorite particles describing circular orbits around the planet’s equator. In all likelihood these are fragments of a former moon that was too close to the planet and was destroyed...” - W. G. Sebald, Rings of Saturn.
To become a star is to become certain death. Of stone, of (s)tar, petrified. R U SCARED? Of mud, muck, ivory, oil, and bones. A New World by refined old old oooold Death.
released September 16, 2020
Personnel
Flute: Francesca Ferrera
Bass Clarinet: Ben Chapoteau-Katz
Alto Saxophone: Leland Whitty
Tenor Saxophone: Ben Chapoteau-Katz
Trumpet: Brandon Woody
Trombone: Jonah Levine
Tuba: Osita Atikpoh
Cello: Nicky Wetherell
Drums: Alex Sowinski
DFAM: Olu Odubiro
Mastered by Alex Epton
Artwork by Bolade Banjo, Jelani Rice, Seth Kenji, and Abraham El Makawy
Special Thanks
Christopher Baliwas
Parker, Ritchie, Groggs, and Nick Herbert
Taja & Ben
Nick Hakim
Taphari
Midway Contemporary Art
Cheflee